The Way Of Forgiveness
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Seven Steps of Forgiveness
(excerpted from The Way of Forgiveness)
- Select a bitter sorrow, a serious grievance against someone, or a punishing charge against yourself, and review it in complete detail.
- Hold in your mind the image of whatever is to be forgiven — yourself, another person, a past event — and say, "I release you from the grip of my sadness, disapproval, or condemnation." Concentrate quietly on this intention.
- Imagine for a while what your life will be like without the sorrow or grievance that has been haunting you.
- Make amends with someone you've hurt or someone who has hurt you; tell a friend about your self-forgiveness; or otherwise bring your inner work to your relationships.
- Ask for God's help to overcome fear or resistance at any step. If you do not believe in God, ask for help from nature, humanity, and the mysteries of your own mind. These are the channels through which aid is sent — and aid is always sent.
- Have patience. Forgiveness induces healing which follows its own order and timing. Whether you think you have accomplished anything thus far is less important than the fact that you have attempted a radical act that will call forth change likely to exceed your expectations. Go about your daily business, but stay alert to unexpected shifts in your thinking, feelings, and relationships.
- Repeat steps 1 through 6 as often as necessary, for life.
"When first published in 1994 (as The Little Book of Forgiveness), this was a book whose ideas and messages were ahead of its time. Since 1996 I have directed the Stanford Forgiveness Projects, a series of research endeavors to reduce hurt, depression, anger and stress in people who hold grudges. I have also taughts forgiveness to tens of thousands of hurt and angry people. What I find facinating is that the things I taught, researched and proved to be true, D. Patrick Miller already knew." — from the foreword by Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., Director of the Stanford Forgiveness ProjectsBy D. Patrick Miller
"With The Way of Forgiveness, D. Patrick Miller makes an advanced form of forgiveness very approachable, without conpromising on its profound and startling message. Having known Patrick for many years, I can say he doesn't just write about these principles, he truly lives them. I highly recommend this book to all spiritual seekers. You won't be able to put it down." — Gary Renard, author of The Disappearance of the Universe and Your Immortal Reality
"This book helped me go to a deeper level on my own path of forgiveness. It is a wonderful book!" — Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life