Through A Glass, Darkly

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Through A Glass, Darkly

by Rev. Tony Ponticello

I've had a few ideas that have been circulating around my mind for some time now. I've spoken about them on several occasions recently. In this article I'm going to gel them into something cohesive. These ideas relate to the question: What is the correct way for us A Course In Miracles students to relate to the world? What is the correct or healed perception of the world?

At a recent Sunday Service I was speaking about having a midnight walk down a seedy section of downtown San Francisco (Market street between 5th and 9th) and my being confronted with all the images of sickness, poverty, violence and insanity. I spoke of how I related to those. Giving that lecture was an interesting experience for me because, from my podium viewpoint looking at the people in attendance, I elicited such a wide variety of reactions. They ranged from extreme disgust and hate (a couple of people actually walked out) to enthusiastic nods of approval and smiles and later "kudos" of what a great inspirational talk it was! I don't think I've ever gotten such a broad range of reactions to a talk I've given.

What that indicates for me is how much "in process" we all are around this issue of relating "spiritually" to the world. We Course students are dancing around this one and many don't know what dance step to take or even what rhythm is being played. I believe this question is at the heart of the matter and is something about which we sincerely need to think. What does it mean for us to be an A Course In Miracles student and living in this world? How do we relate to the world? Do we deny the negativity? Do we say it's not part of us? Do we embrace it and learn from it? Do we realize that it's a projection from our own minds and thus engages in a healing process with it? What do we do with it?

Western Renunciates

Bottom line absolutely and ultimately, "There is no world." (T 237/243) Some people confront my opinions on relating to the world because they feel I'm not being true to this basic Course tenant. They believe I'm giving the world "reality." Before you write me that "MiracleGram" let me be clear, "I know there is no world." The world is a bizarre, surreal, mental landscape coming from my own mind that my concept of my self (my body) is walking through, interacting with. It's a dreamscape. Sometimes the dream reality is nightmarish, as it seemed to me as I was walking downtown San Francisco at midnight last week and sometimes it's beautiful gardens of heaven! I may be a selfish person, but I'd rather walk through beautiful gardens of heaven! What I want to learn to do is dream this dream world so it is more of the "gardens" and not the "nightmare." I think this is what A Course In Miracles is training us to do. "Dream softly of your sinless brother. And from this dream the Lord of Heaven will Himself awaken His beloved Son. Dream of your brother's kindnesses . Select his thoughtfulness to dream about." (T 543/585) A Course In Miracles is dream training. We learn how to dream this world more effectively, more beautifully, more peacefully . This dovetails with many other spiritual teachings. It certainly goes hand and hand with one of the very first metaphysical, spiritual things I studied, the writings of Carlos Castenada about the teachings of "Don Juan." These teachings stressed the importance of learning how to be a better world dreamer. Don Juan always taught Carlos that the world was a dream we were dreaming. Maybe it was easy to embrace this particular aspect of Course philosophy because it was something I was exposed to previously.

If we deny the seeming reality of this dream world, we manifest a serious problem. The Course states, "Many have chosen to renounce the world while still believing its reality. And they have suffered from a sense of loss, and have not been released accordingly ." (W 284/291) I think this is where the problem comes in. Many of us decide we will renounce this world. We think renunciation is the thing to do. We know the world is not where we want to be. We know the Course says the world is an illusion and that we are spiritual beings. We study that we are home in heaven and that we'll never be at home here in this world. We think, "See, those Easterners were right all along. World renunciation is the way to God." So we become "Western Renunciates" and embrace the "letting go" idea. However, it does not work. We don't receive the peace we thought we'd get. We then decide we just didn't know how, so we try harder. It seems to work for a while but eventually, tragedy and despair beset us again. We feel inferior, "spiritually challenged." We just don't have what it takes. We believe that the problem lies not in the Course but in ourselves!

In truth, we did not accurately hear what A Course In Miracles was saying. If we renounce the world while we still believe in it we will not be released. "But I don't believe in the world!" we shout. "I know it's not real! I practice One-Mindedness and True Reality every day!" Unfortunately, we're just trying to fool ourselves into reality. It's simple, when you open your eyes in the morning do you still perceive a world filled with bodies, then you still believe in it. This "Western Renunciation" is simply another example of, "Fake it till you make it." Except that when you fake it you never make it! The wife who has been faking her orgasms for years knows how trapped she is. None of her faking ever led to the real thing and now the sham has to be maintained to keep the marriage together. There are some of you out there who know what I mean. Don't worry, I'm not asking you to admit it. Our new "Western Renunciation" will never work and is not the key to enlightenment.

This Course passage continues, "Others have chosen nothing but the world, and they have suffered from a sense of loss still deeper, which they did not understand." (W 284/291) If we choose nothing but the world and its space/time experiences the sense of loss we will feel will be even greater than when we inappropriately deny. This is why seekers get addicted to renunciation, it doesn't work, but it does feel better than it's alternative. However, I don't want just better! I want freedom! So, what do we do? The Course tells us exactly, "Between these paths there is another road that leads away from loss of every kind, for sacrifice and deprivation both are quickly left behind. This is the way appointed for you now." (W 284/291) The way of A Course In Miracles is this middle way. Between being totally submersed in the world (believing that it's the only reality) and renouncing the world (thinking that we're total spiritual beings who don't have to engage in gross physicality), there is a middle path that is our appointed way. This middle path is the way that seems so difficult to us. It seems so much easier to do "all or nothing." We don't know how to moderate. Moderation is the toughest things to master. That's why we have so much trouble dieting and loosing weight. Many have eating problems. Wouldn't it be great if we never had to eat! Yet, that won't work. Neither will eating anything and everything we want. We have to learn moderation, the middle way, but we don't want to. Mastery over weight and eating problems is a middle path issue.

How we relate to the physical world is the same thing. We can't just renounce it while we still believe ourselves to be physical beings. It will not give us the peace we are seeking. We can't totally submerge ourselves in it because we are not physical beings, so there must be another way. This other way is what we Miracles students need to define for ourselves.

I frequently make the point that if we do our internal salvation process as guided (if we do our healing work, take our hourly rests), if we choose to see our brothers and sisters differently, we should see some reflection of that work existing in the physical world manifesting before our eyes. There are many sincere Course students who say that any focus, even a mere mention, of worldly manifestation is to "miss the mark," a "sin" by definition. They maintain that we do our personal internal work and do not look for, or ever acknowledge, any physical world shifts. The trouble I have with this is it sets up a separation between ourselves and the outer physical world that I do not think A Course In Miracles is teaching. To me, the Course is saying there is no difference the between the inside mental world and the outside physical world. There is no world. We travel through a surreal mental landscape. If we are doing the inside work we should expect some salvation reflection appearing in the outer. Frequently, in the Course, when it speaks of these outer manifestations it gives us beautiful nature imagery. We read of singing birds and flowing streams that reflect the peace we connected with when we centered into God. We are even told that others will know of God's peace when they encounter these bird songs and babbling brooks because these beautiful nature images now symbolize a God centered mind. Go on, read the passage yourself. That's what it says! (See W 194/198)

Another passage speaks of sprouting plants and healing rain in the same manner. (See W 463/473) Even though these passages are perfectly clear and unambiguous, renunciate Course students never deal with them. "Too worldly focused!" They preach. "Strictly metaphoric allegory" they declare if you question them. Even more tragic is, "Jesus told this to Helen Schucman because this is what she needed to hear but Jesus didn't really mean it." This argument always makes me laugh! In essence this means, "Jesus lied to Helen because Helen couldn't handle the truth!" How pathetic it is to avoid transformation because of an argument as convoluted as this.

What I've realized is that it's not just nature that can reflect God. There are numerous ways, infinite experiences that can bring to mind the individual, beautiful salvation ideas that we all have thought to manifest these images. Part of the work, for me, is to be able to identify those things as they come up. To identify the God centered peace I feel around a certain experience I'm having in the physical world. The peace is not in that experience, but that peace comes from the salvation thoughts, the peaceful thoughts, the still thoughts that the whole mind has tuned into and thus given rise to this space/time experience. This experience becomes the symbolic representation of these God centered salvation thoughts -- and I get the symbol! I receive the peaceful thoughts that inspired it.

I believe we all need a lot of training in reading God in the symbolic physical world that we travel through. After all, "God is in everything I see because God is in my mind." (W 47/47)

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"Mirror, Mirror On The Wall"

Another idea that came to mind while relating to this question is what the Course, the Bible and Buddhism all speak of, the world is just a mirror, or a "glass", in which we see a reflection. I remembered this mirror/glass analogy because a recent workbook lesson spoke of it. The lesson refers to a meditational practice which we are to do for half an hour. It says, "This half an hour will be framed in gold, with every minute like a diamond set around the mirror that this exercise will offer you." (W 219/223) If we do what it asks, this exercise offers us a mirror, something out there in which to see a reflection. It continues, "And you will see Christ's face upon it, in reflection of your own." (W 219/223) If we do our practicing the world becomes a mirror which reflects the Christ nature into which we have centered. Our brothers and sisters become the reflections of the Christ for us. We can then experience the joy, peace and salvation in our relationship to them which is merely a symbolic representation of the joy, peace and salvation we had when we connected with something real and eternal in our minds. Further on in this passage it states something I've always loved, "Perhaps today, perhaps tomorrow, you will look into this glass and understand the sinless light you see belongs to you; the loveliness you look on is your own." (W 219/223) When we really experience our brothers and sisters as the Christ we need to remember that we're seeing a reflection of our own Christ self and it's an indication of the good work we've done. It continues, "Add further jewels to the golden frame that holds the mirror offered you today, by hourly repeating to yourself: -- Let me remember I am one with God, -- At one with all my brothers and my Self, -- In everlasting holiness and peace." (W 219/224)

The reason why the mirror reflects a beautiful image is because we are doing our work. We are doing our practice. When I talk about experiencing the beauty in the world please remember that I'm not resting with the beautiful physical form, I'm really seeing this beauty as a symbolic reflection of the beauty within our minds that we now are experiencing to a greater degree because we're doing our spiritual work. This is why I do not believe A Course In Miracles is about world renunciation. I believe that true Course practice leads to embracing the Christ imagery that can easily be reflected in the world (can't help but be reflected in the world) because that's what the world is, a reflection of our mind, a glass. It states it again, "Perhaps today, perhaps tomorrow, you will see your own transfiguration in the glass, this holy half an hour will hold out to you, to look upon yourself. (W 219/223) We look out into the world and perhaps it happens today, but maybe it doesn't happen until the proverbial "tomorrow" but eventually -- that's what this means to me, eventually -- we're all going to see a reflection of the internal work that we're doing in the physical world. We can expect that and now we can stop pretending that we are unconcerned with manifestations because we're so perfectly spiritual. We're all such bad liars about this issue anyway. Let's give up the faking. It will never lead to the real thing. We do the work; the world reflects it.

Now, if we are seeing a dark, fearful image in this world mirror all it means is that we're focussing on the wrong glass. We're looking in the wrong mirror. The world holds up two mirrors to us all the time. Holy Spirit within us has a reflection, but the ego has its reflection too. A reason why some people have a difficult time seeing the Holy Spirit in the world is (again) a reflection of the same thing they think is going on inside their minds. Aren't they just the same individuals who frequently say that they never hear the Holy Spirit inside their minds either? Of course, it would have to be so. If you think you never hear Holy Spirit inside your head it doesn't surprise me that you also think you never see the Holy Spirit reflected in the world. They go together. However, Holy Spirit is are always there, in both places. I frequently challenge this perception of people, this "rap" that people have about never hearing, or seeing the manifestations of Holy Spirit. I don't think this is true. I think we sometimes convince ourselves that this is true, but it's not. I think we're all listening to the Holy Spirit much of the time. Maybe 50% of the time, maybe 60% I don't know what the absolute percentage is but it's probably more than we think. Our spiritual practice is about increasing our "tune in" time a few small percentage points. A little increase in that percentage will vastly affect our experience in life. We all have looked out in the world and have seen beautiful, loving peaceful things with which we've resonated. (Great New-Age, California term, "resonated," to feel in harmony with, to feel one with.) In those moments we're seeing the reflections of the Holy Spirit. I don't know anybody who hasn't had those experiences, who doesn't have them frequently! Most people see beauty and things that they love and emotionally embrace. If they can learn that these experiences are symbolic reflections of the beauty, harmony and oneness that lies beyond then they have taken the step A Course In Miracles asks.

When I was walking through seedy downtown at midnight I had the choice of into which mirror I wanted to look. I vacillated back and forth between the two glasses. In one hand, there was the ego's dark glass which saw all the images as fearful and dangerous. Yet, in the other hand I had the Holy Spirit's mirror which was perceiving, as the Psalm spoke of, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil." (Psalm 23:4) Here I was walking through an agreed upon unpleasant and dangerous part of town, "a valley of the shadow of death" to be sure, and it really was OK. I was walking through something that I wouldn't normally subject myself too and there were certainly enough gruesome images about, but I had a choice as to how I perceived them. I had the choice of which mirror I would hold up in front of my eyes. Much of the time I felt invulnerable. I have to thank Holy Spirit for allowing me that perception, for handing me His mirror. Maybe I was looking into Holy Spirit's glass more than I realized, maybe it was 65% of the time.

Another thing my walk brought up, again witnessing that I was looking in Holy Spirit's glass, was subtle a appreciation of the very fact that I could walk through this area at all. The fact that I could truly bless the people, not feel separate from them, not feel as if I had to remove myself because there was something vile and bad there, was a reflection of my good salvation practice. Also, the fact that I could see these images as originating from deep recesses of my own fearful mind communicated to me that I was doing something good. I was exposing deep fears within myself that needed to be healed. These fears were appearing in physical form so that I could heal them. I could also be a healing influence for all the people I saw, just by being there and looking in the correct glass, the same as I could be a healing influence for my mind and its deep fear thoughts, simply by bringing my conscious awareness to them. That's work I needed to do and I was happy to do it. I guess I did a pretty good job of holding the correct mirror in front of my mind after all! Maybe I was at 70%! "Your brother is the mirror in which you see the image of yourself as long as perception lasts. And perception will last until the Sonship knows itself as whole. You made perception and it must last as long as you want it." (T 118/127) Our brothers and sisters are always reflecting for us and they will continue to do so as long as we are in this realm of perception. They will always be our mirrors. Do they seem to reflect shame and inadequacy to us? That just means we still have some shame and inadequacy deep down inside ourselves that needs to be healed. It's time to bring these errors to Holy Spirit, time to bring these mistakes to truth. Instead of getting caught in a reflection of shame and inadequacy, the ego's dark glass, look for the Holy Spirit's clean and well lighted mirror and see the reflection there. Both of those mirrors are right next to each other. The same way that both the Holy Spirit's thoughts and the ego's thoughts are right next to each other in our minds. "Each is a way of seeing, and different worlds arise from their different sights." ( T 232/250)

Which way of seeing do you choose? Here is our work. Be very aware of which glass we are holding up and looking in. "The glass in which the ego seeks to see its face is dark indeed." (T 57/62) Do you see dark images? You're looking into the wrong mirror, " then know this need not be. In every case you have thought wrongly about some brother God created, and are perceiving images your ego makes in a darkened glass." (T 57/63) The images themselves are not the problem. We can be grateful the mirror is reflecting our previously hidden mental flaws. Each morning we use the mirror in the bathroom to groom ourselves since we can't see our own face without its help. Do we get angry at the mirror if we don't like what we see? It's not the mirrors fault, it's just doing it's job! This is such a great analogy and again shows us how the physical world is reflecting our mental state. In the physical world we can't see ourselves without a mirror's help. In mental reality we can not know ourselves correctly without the help of our sisters and brothers reflecting our beliefs back to us.

Ostrich Mentality

I do think it possible to correct errors in our minds without needing to have them projected so graphically onto the physical world. However, this level of mastery is not a level most of us are at frequently. The Course talks about this in the Manual. It says we are not at a level of development where we can completely make the shifts of mind we need to make using just our mind alone. It says that we will most often have to engage in the outside physical world in order to fully accomplish our mental healing shifts. The world is a tool that helps us to shift. We need this compromise approach. "He (meaning the teacher of God) is not yet at a point at which he can make the shift entirely internally. And so the plan will sometimes call for changes in what seem to be external circumstances. These changes are always helpful." (M 9/9) In other words, the plan for our enlightenment calls for changes in what seems to be going on in the world. It's again implying that it's not about renouncing the world but being involved in the world using Holy Spirit's mirror instead of the ego's darkened glass. This compromise is spoken about early in the Text, "Sometimes the illness has a sufficiently strong hold over the mind to render a person temporarily inaccessible to the Atonement. In this case it may be wise to utilize a compromise approach to mind and body, in which something from the outside is temporarily given healing belief." (T 20/24) Once again, as clear as these teachings are stated, students prefer to ignore them and go for "all or nothing."

I always like this "dark glass" analogy because it reminds me of an old film by Ingmar Bergman (Through a Glass Darkly: 1961, Harriet Andersson, Gunnar Bjoernstrand, Max Von Sydow) but more importantly because the quotation comes from the Bible and if you ever saw the old Swedish film you know that they were playing off that Bible passage. The Bible reference is from Corinthians, "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face; now I know in part; but then I shall know even as also I am known." (1Cor. 13:12) This passage from Corinthians is as enlightened as many things in the Course and it acknowledges that in the stage we are in now we see things in this darkened glass but in the ultimate reality of heaven we will be face to face with no reflection to confuse us. There won't be any barrier, any reflection, between ourselves, our brothers and sisters and our God. We will know each other then, instead of just perceiving each other as we do now -- and we will be known in a like manner. One of the reasons why this Bible verse is so familiar is that it's at the end of a longer, poetic passage talking about faith, hope and charity (or love depending on your translation) that's used traditionally in the wedding ceremony. I have conducted many weddings so I am familiar with it. The entire wedding reading is much longer but I think the verse that directly precedes this one is pertinent. It says, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man (or a woman as the case may be), I put away childish things." (1Cor. 13:11) A child runs away and hides. A child pulls the blanket up over his or her head thinking somehow that's going to protect him or her. However, when we become a true adult we learn that we can't hide anymore. We can't put our head in the sand and just hope our problems will go away as the ostrich does. (Let's all take a short moment to thank the ostrich for such a great visual symbol that has served us so well for many years.) "Western Renunciation" is childish, ostrich mentality. As spiritual adults we now know, "Yes I am seeing fearful images out there but all it means is that I'm looking in the ego's darkened glass. These images are not really true and eventually I'll move beyond this dark mirror and emerge in an ultimate reality where I will be face to face with all of creation and there will be nothing to hide from or to fear. So I am willing to do whatever needs to be done to move through this dark experience." The Course tells us the first step in this correction process is to switch mirrors. Hold up Holy Spirit's glass and look there!

As I stated earlier, identifying the middle ground that we need to walk is hard. It's not black or white. Yet, true adults know how to do it. Mature adults can appreciate shades of gray. Adults have the spiritual/mental balance necessary. Still, many would either like to bury their head and renounce or get totally hooked into the world and try to work out physical atonement. Moderation is so tough. A friend and I were talking about moderation the other day and the issue revolved around the possible health benefits of eating yogurt with live cultures. My friend said that even though he thought yogurt might be helpful for his particular health issue he didn't eat yogurt. When I asked him why, he said that he didn't eat any dairy products. While he thought yogurt would be helpful it was just easier for him to give up all dairy products and not think about them. I thought to myself, "There it is again, another example of 'all or nothing' thinking. No room for moderation. No room for a middle path." People who have alcohol and substance abuse problems, what do you know? It's easier for you to say, "I'm never going to take another drink (or drug) as long as I live" than to play with the idea that you might be able to drink occasionally as you are guided. Moderation is a hard concept, isn't it? Now, I'm not in any way recommending that people who have drug and alcohol problems play the game of occasional guided usage! However, there is a new branch of the recovery movement, that is called "Rational Recovery," where people are moving in that direction. Some people are saying that they can now embrace moderation and that workable boundaries can be set with substances like alcohol, that aren't necessarily "nothing."

In a recent class a student recounted a story, and this isn't a person who has a drinking problem, it's just a person who doesn't drink frequently. He talked about being with friends who said to him, "Have a glass of wine with us." He said no he didn't feel like having a drink this night but his friends were insistent saying, "What! Come on, have a glass of wine with us." Again he told them he didn't want a drink and they become even more adamant saying, "What's the matter with you, why don't you have a glass of wine with us?" At that point he remembered that famous Course passage, "Recognize what does not matter, and if your brothers ask you for something 'outrageous,' do it because it does not matter. Refuse, and your opposition establishes that it does matter to you." (T 205/221) So he finally said "OK." and he had a glass of wine with them. Then they were all able to end the discussion of whether he was going to have a drink or not and why! He had his wine, it wasn't a problem and then they had a meaningful conversation about something much more significant! A joining happened because of the middle path he was able to walk at that moment. That illustrated a lot to me.

I started the article asking, "Are we in the world; are we not in the world? How do we relate in this world?" Well, we are in the world in the sense that we do believe we are here. That means we all are going to have to embrace some worldly things, look at certain images and relate to them. "Even an advanced therapist has some earthly needs while he is here. Should he need money it will be given him Money is not evil. It is nothing. But no one here can live with no illusions." (P 21/23) Total renunciation of the world doesn't work. We do have to identify when we're seeing the world through the ego's dark glass. We have to know when we're looking through a glass, darkly. What do we do then? Do we throw the glass out? No, we can't. Do we stop looking through the glass altogether? I don't think that's possible. What we can do is get some kind of "Windex" and clean the glass so it's not dark anymore. It then becomes the Holy Spirit's bright, clean mirror that will give us the world as such a close reflection to heaven and its peace that they cease to exist as separate states. (See T 6/9) That close mirroring is the salvation the Course asks of us. This is walking the middle path. We can't clean the smudges and dirt on the glass if we refuse to look. Stop being an ostrich! We have to look into it. We have to see the problems. The mental errors reflected therein need healing. We have to do the internal mental work to heal them. If we do, we can expect the images we see in front of us will be those bright, clean, well-lighted images that reflect salvation, the peace the light and the heaven that is the eternal truth.

Thank you.

©copyright 1996, Rev. Tony Ponticello.
All rights reserved.

This article has 5,345 words.

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This article appeared in the May 1996 (Vol.10, No.3) issue of Miracles Monthly. Miracles Monthly is published by the Community Miracles Center in San Francisco, CA. The CMC is supported solely by people just like you who give donations and purchase books and products through us.

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Last update: March 9, 2006 by Rev. Tony Ponticello. (syntax checked 3/06)